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When the phone rings unexpectedly after 10 p.m., I automatically assume that either someone died or is about to die -- lying in a ditch somewhere, moaning softly and praying that his good friend Brian will be able to find and return his body to his loved ones in a timely fashion.
The whole "in a ditch" was my grandfather's doing. He worried about everything. If someone was late to supper, it meant they had some horrific accident and were left, "lying in a ditch". I'm not sure why lying in a ditch is much worse than, say, lying in the bushes, or lying on the sidewalk or in a bathtub. I guess I always imagined that they might be face down in that ditch, gurgling in a stream of murky water, but that's probably because I grew up in the northeast where all ditches worth their depth eventually filled with water.
Jane's response is, "Who the hell would be calling at this hour?" This is a valid response, and we explore the possibilities of who's likely drunk, stranded, kidnapped, being stalked, etc., until the phone stops ringing.
So, when the phone rings well into the night I grow very concerned about my friends and family. Not concerned enough to pick up the call, mind you.
To whomever called last night at midnight, I'm sorry. I generally provide salvation weekdays before 10 p.m. and by 11 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays. Please make a note of it.
