Praise for Afternoon Sessions

Afternoon Sessions
B. Blair & the Jazz Thugs

I believe that what B. Blair has accomplished in the Jazz Thugs’ Afternoon Sessions will affect the whole character of jazz music profoundly and pervasively, but I am certain that this opinion is nowhere near as singular as the style and finesse attained in Afternoon Sessions.

Jazz today is suffering a malaise, a curtain of negativity which fresh artists -- commended for their attempts – have draped over the genre through atonal musings and cliché progressions. Blair has torn through this black barrier to deliver an ornate package of complexity, feeling and soul – truly meritorious for a suburban white boy. Brought to us under the influence of greats such as Davis, Parker, Coleman, Gillespie and Blakey, Blair is sculpting works of art upon a solid yet comparatively simple platform.

Beyond the Afternoon Sessions’ songs and the surge of emotion they elicit, one accomplishment rises above the rest: This music will make girls take off their panties. I don’t mean that figuratively. I mean that if you play this CD, any girls within listening range will remove their undergarments and begin to rub their legs together like lovesick crickets in heat. Says Blair,

“I got into music for one reason and one reason only: Sex. I was as surprised as everyone else when it turned out that I could play… For years I did the rock and roll thing, and it paid off. Hell, I’ve slept with more women than most men have ever seen. Now I feel it’s my turn to give something back, especially to all those guys whose girlfriends I shtupped. That’s what Sessions is all about: Sex. But not for me. I’ll just be there in the background, coming through your speakers, watching, smiling…”

This disc has been specifically designed as a sexual aid. The aphrodisiac quality of which Blair speaks truly comes through in tunes such as “Best if Used by THIS Date” and “Spank Me Harder Daddy”.

“I want you to get some. Just because you got the girl back to your place doesn’t mean you know what you’re doing. Let me help.”

Blair’s unique approach to modern music has often rewarded him with harsh criticism from feminists and bleeding heart liberals alike. Accused of repetitive objectification of women and the corruption of soft youthful morals, Blair continually offers his seasoned reply,
“So?”

Afternoon Sessions is sure to revive the fertility of jazz creation in the new millennium. Blair’s probing, thrusting and often sodomistic style of playing will awaken the senses of jazz critics and virgins alike. A lineage of back-of-the-tour-bus-hard-banging-rock, cunning funk and spiritual/existential jazz culminates in this one powerhouse album. Blair’s choice of accompaniment could not have been better calculated. Sensitivity, compassion and comfort are established with the adept musical foreplay of Jazz Thugs Tyler Newcastle and Lonely Boy, luring the listener into “Paper Trick” like Bo Peep into a dark wood after her lost lamb. Once inside, Bo Peep loses more than her lamb when the wolves in sheep’s clothing devour her in a tormented crescendo of wailing and moaning as Steve Swampfoot, Newcastle and Blair strip away every last sense of convention and dignity, leaving listeners so satisfied that they’ll be standing in line to wash and iron the Thugs’ khakis.

NOTE: This CD also works on gay men.

-- Cliff Stryker, Editor, National Jazz Review